Meet Your Zine Maker 41: Slice Harvester
Superficially, Slice Harvester is a pizza review zine. Colin Hagendorf, the formerly anonymous author, ate at and reviewed a regular slice from almost every pizza parlor on the island of Manhattan. But what do we talk about when we talk about pizza? Described in the press as “a pizza-obsessed Lenny Bruce,” Colin manages to turn his pizza reviews into vitriolic critiques of capitalism and gender, humorous soliquies about teenage drug use, and earnest attempts to find some hope and meaning in our “sick fucking society.” Basically, he talks about anything but pizza. [Photo by Jacob Ousterhout.]
What’s the most surprisingly good pizza topping?I mostly love plain pizza. Just a regular slice. I don’t know, I’m a simple guy. I work at this diner where we make like, 40 different kinds of milkshake and everyone is always like, “OMG! WUT’S UR FAVORITE MILKSHAKE?!!” and I’m all, “chocolate,” and they get hella bummed. There is this one place, Zante’s, in the Mission in San Francisco kind of across the street from Thrillhouse Records, that makes Indian Pizza, and it is like, totally amazing. They use a regular pizza dough for the base, but then they put curry or tandoori chicken or lentils or whatever on it. I guess pizza dough is kind of like naan already, so it’s not that big a leap, but it is fucking astonishingly phenomenal.
Otherwise I like regular stuff on pizza. Pepperonis, anchovies sometimes, hot peppers, garlic. Shit like that.
Can one still call it “pizza” if it’s on a bagel or English muffin?
Absolutely. Also french bread. Also flat bread. Also pita. Also a hamburger. Any time you melt mozzarella cheese over sauce on top of a thing you can call it pizza with my approval. You could pour sauce all over your kid and then melt cheese on it and I’d approve of you calling it Pizza Baby, but I would also probably call Child Services or something because that is fucked up parenting.
You recently appeared on Fox’s Good Day New York to talk about pizza with Greg Kelly and Rosanna Scotto. What was that experience like?I got there late and everyone was freaking out. I wasn’t nervous at all because I was too tired, and I was REALLY hungry. I just kept eating and I was kind of waiting for the interview to start and the next thing I knew, it was over. I think I definitely did a twitter as I was leaving about how they were playing the 700 Club in the lobby of the Fox building and that these people were “definitely demons.”
Mostly they were nice to me, though, and they big upped my favorite pizza shop and they let me wipe my hands on their couch and talk with my mouth full on television. I didn’t even realize I was doing that stuff because I am just naturally a slob, but all my friends who watched the interview commented afterwards about how I kept wiping my hands on the couch. My mother was real proud of me for being on TV, but she was also kind of felt like it reflected badly on her mothering that I was acting like a shlub on the news. So I just want to say for the record that my mom did great, but civility didn’t take with me. Also, sorry mom!What does the future hold for you and Slice Harvester?
I’ve been making zines since I was a teenager, so I don’t think I’ll stop doing that any time soon. But probably we’re all gonna die soon, so I’m guessing not much. If I’m lucky after civilization collapses I can become the mayor of a dam city like Tom Petty in The Postman.